December 15, 2011
date night isn't always...
Date night isn't always for candlelit dinners. Date night isn't always for swoony, knowing glances across the table. Date night isn't always for dimly lit, trendy restaurants and your cutest new outfit.
Sometimes, date night is to get away just for a minute. Sometimes, date night means getting to those hard topics that the average day doesn't have time for. Sometimes, date nights will have a few more tears than smiles or kisses. And sometimes, date nights will start out with arguements.
I love Tom with my whole heart, but last night, our date night meant talking through how we could get through another day without every talk turning into a disagreement (even though, in our hearts, we know that we are honored to spend forever together and we love each other deeply and dearly.) Date night started out with hearing that our table wouldn't be ready for over an hour, but that if we wanted to drive around, they would call us when it was available. So, we took that as an excellent way to make time for seeing Christmas in the Park and drive around seeing all the festive houses in town.
But shortly into our drive, I told Tom something that was weighing on me. Weighing on me like an elephant on my left lung. BRUTAL. And it had to do with something I was asking him to work on. ROUGH. It took about two seconds for us to be fuming and defensive. It took about three seconds for me to feel like he was a million miles away. And it took about four seconds before I was ready to just go home and go to bed.
Marriage isn't always what you dreamed about as a little girl. Sometimes, marriage is like our date last night. You start with high expectations, get hurt and let down, learn a bit about yourself and a ton about your spouse, then find a balance where you can love each other despite a hurt heart, and sometimes it will even mean letting go of a hurt or opinion that God almost has to pry out of your little fingers.
I can happily report that we ended our evening sitting on the same side of the table (which was only awkward for everyone around us, but was so snuggly and sweet for us), smiling swoony smiles, kissing a ton, and sincerely apologizing to each other for a small list of wrong-doings.