starting the festivities

1. I AM NOT IN THE MOOD...I live in *almost* Canada...and there is no snow!? I am officially a believer in global warming. Haha, ok, not really...but seriously, this momma is wantin' some snow!

2. Check out my baby...

3. I am so excited for people to open the gifts we picked out for them this year. Actually, my parents just came back from their Christmas present vacation, which was a night at the Ellery House Bed and Breakfast in Duluth, MN. They said it was amazing, and I am so glad; they deserved some time away!

4. My family rocks. I have the greatest husband, the sweetest son, and the cutest (screamy-est) daughter and its awesome!

5. As tradition would have it, our family starts out our Christmas celebration by opening one gift on Christmas Eve evening and it is always pajamas. Always. Super cute, cozy, often funny jammies. And we wear them. We all go put them on immediately and stay in them until we each individually decide that we are motivated enough to change our clothes, usually not until after two in the afternoon on Christmas or so. The other Christmas Eve thing we do is hide an almond in the Cream of Wheat. Cream of Wheat is always our C.E. meal. Whoever has the almond in their bowl gets the privilege and responsibility of passing out the remaining gifts on Christmas morning.

6. I would love it if you all share one of your favorite family traditions around the Christmas holiday!

a picture perfect monday

Christmas Card picture

my hunky, hardworking hubby

Pure joy

My chubby bunny

Big hugs

Posing in horse poop

"raise them up in the way they should go..."

boys will be boys

a boy and his goat

wishin sissy was old enough to scoop poo with us!

first ever chocolate cake coma

date night isn't always...

Date night isn't always for candlelit dinners. Date night isn't always for swoony, knowing glances across the table. Date night isn't always for dimly lit, trendy restaurants and your cutest new outfit.

Sometimes, date night is to get away just for a minute. Sometimes, date night means getting to those hard topics that the average day doesn't have time for. Sometimes, date nights will have a few more tears than smiles or kisses. And sometimes, date nights will start out with arguements.

I love Tom with my whole heart, but last night, our date night meant talking through how we could get through another day without every talk turning into a disagreement (even though, in our hearts, we know that we are honored to spend forever together and we love each other deeply and dearly.) Date night started out with hearing that our table wouldn't be ready for over an hour, but that if we wanted to drive around, they would call us when it was available. So, we took that as an excellent way to make time for seeing Christmas in the Park and drive around seeing all the festive houses in town.

But shortly into our drive, I told Tom something that was weighing on me. Weighing on me like an elephant on my left lung. BRUTAL. And it had to do with something I was asking him to work on. ROUGH. It took about two seconds for us to be fuming and defensive. It took about three seconds for me to feel like he was a million miles away. And it took about four seconds before I was ready to just go home and go to bed.

Marriage isn't always what you dreamed about as a little girl. Sometimes, marriage is like our date last night. You start with high expectations, get hurt and let down, learn a bit about yourself and a ton about your spouse, then find a balance where you can love each other despite a hurt heart, and sometimes it will even mean letting go of a hurt or opinion that God almost has to pry out of your little fingers.

I can happily report that we ended our evening sitting on the same side of the table (which was only awkward for everyone around us, but was so snuggly and sweet for us), smiling swoony smiles, kissing a ton, and sincerely apologizing to each other for a small list of wrong-doings.

horse manure therapy

Ever think you need a therapist...

...or a vacation?

...or something?

How about some good ole poop scoopin'? Does a body good!!!

Me, Christian, Jonny (sorta) and kitty

Me, Christian and Jonny (brothers)

Me and Precious

Check out Stable Days Youth Ranch.

bad to the bone

You know that question that people pass around..."Why do bad things always happen to good people?"

Are you a good person?

Really?

Did you say yes?

I, honestly, said no. When did we mix this up? When did we start feeling so entitled? Since when do we deserve ANYTHING besides death for our sin?

Please understand that I am not forgetting salvation. Jesus died for us so that we can live forever in heaven if we accept the perfect gift of His love and sacrifice for us.

But we are SIN. We are sinful by nature, bad to the bone. We have a lot to look forward to after death if we are saved...but this life, this life never holds promises of ease or comfort. This is not our home and many of us suffer deeply and often for the time we are here.

It seems like the nicest people get cancer. It seems like the sweetest children are born with tumors and heart diseases. It seems like the most mature of my girlfriends have to go through brutal break-ups. It's always the people with great marriages that end up in fatal car accidents. The sweetest mom has the child with special needs. The most fantastic families whose homes burn to the ground.

But, don't be fooled. We are not so good that we are undeserving. We are filth. Outside of Christ we are sin so dark that God cannot stand us.

This may seem like a brutal reminder, but I was thinking on this today and wanted to share. We often need to be reminded of grace, salvation, mercy, peace, love and sweet praise-worthy promises. But today I thought that I would remind you of our hideousness in sin...but not to bring you down. No, I think we need to look at our horrible sinfulness to help us remember how much we need salvation, how much we need our Savior.

"i was over until you kissed my lips and you saved me"

(Title quote by Adele)

lake bled, slovenia

lake bled castle

in the rynek at poznan, poland

in the rynek at wroclaw, poland

cool abondoned building on lake bled in slovenia

There were days when I thought that a sweet song would save my mood.

There have been days when I believed with my whole heart that my husband was my rock.

There have been days when I thought my strength would be enough because I needed to be strong for my kids.

There have been days when I was certain that a Chai Breve Latte from Starbucks would force the stars into alignment in my favor.

There have been weeks that I thought I couldn't get through if not for the 'light at the end of the tunnel' with Tom coming home on the weekend.




All these little things, all these fixes, seem so innocent. But they turn so quickly into idols in my heart. I turn to things rather than my Savior to save me. I look for a sad song on a weepy day. I look for a chance to run to the store without the kids on a busy day. I look to my husband on a day that I am extra insecure.

I am so quick to turn to anything besides my King. When I should be bowing my head in prayer, I rest my head for a nap. When I should be raising my hands in praise, I am reaching for anything else to fix my attitude.

This is an enormous problem that I see in heart and in my life. I want to change it. I want to abide in Christ rather than relying on the world. My choices fail me each and every time. They are short term fixes that barely last a moment.

These choices also lead me away from Christ in crisis. When it is not my habit to seek out the Lord in each and every little passing moment and need, then it is certainly not my default setting during trials. I get overstressed, overly anxious, and quickly angered and overwhelmed. This issue needs immediate attention!

Do any of you struggle with this?

Are any of you SUPER excited that I finally got back to my blog???

(((CAUSE I AM)))

thinking of thanking

[[I snagged this post from THIS lady, who is awesome!]]

1. Who do I appreciate? My husband, my kiddos, my parents, my Savior, and my sisters (and brothers too, don't feel left out).

2. What material possessions am I thankful for? Our house, the money to do projects on our house, my sweater collection, and my toothbrush.

3. What abilities do I have that I'm grateful for? I am grateful for the ability to drive. I get my "mommy time" when I can drive off and run some errands. I am grateful that I can sing, because during these away times, I BLAST some tunes and sing as loud as I can!

4. What about my surroundings (home/neighborhood/city/etc.) am I thankful for? Our fabulous friends, Gabe and Kari, just moved in like five blocks away! I just wish we weren't moving away now...horrible timing.

5. What experiences have I had that I am grateful for? All of my life experiences led me to where I am now. I have met the man of my dreams, only because of all the roads that I took before that led me to him. I have two lovely children, and they are experiences of their own! I am thankful for my time in basic training and tech school where I really learned a lot about myself. I am thankful for the people I have met through all these experiences, because people really make life one big, beautiful experience.

6. What happened today/yesterday/this week/this month/this year that I am grateful for? I am grateful that Tom is starting a job in a few days that is so in line with what his life dreams are. It makes my heart happy to see that his dreams are something that we can make happen!

7. What opportunities do I have that I am thankful for? I am so very thankful for the opportunity I have each day to shape and mold my children to be little Christ-like kiddos. I am also super thankful for the opportunity to share my thoughts via blog!

8. What have others in my life done that I am thankful for? I am thankful for my parents opening their home to us in this time of transition. I am thankful for the women in my life who have spoken truth to me, even when I was not listening. I am forever thankful for the patience that my husband gives me every day.

9. What relationships am I thankful for? I am thankful for SO many relationships, but mainly right now, what comes to mind, is my relationship with my husband, my mom, and my sisters/soul sisters.

10. What am I taking for granted that, if I stop to think about it, I am grateful for? Our furnace, my pillow, our shower.

11. What is there about the challenges/difficulties I have experienced (or am currently experiencing) that I can be thankful for? (e.g., What have I learned? How have I grown?) Raising kids is ... CHALLENGING. But I am so thankful, because it is forcing me to grow up. I have realized that I have some beliefs that I don't follow through on because I lack the discipline to carry them out, but having kids that will be always looking to me as an example forces me to be the person I want to be, the person I was created to be!

12. What is different today than it was a year ago that I'm thankful for? I am married! And significantly less round in the uteran region :) HAHAHA. (But super excited to get pregnant again!)

13. What insights have I gained that I am grateful for? I have gained so much insight about relationships. About how to treat others. About how to truly love. About how to mean it when I ask for forgiveness and about how many people I owe apologies to. About sacrifice. About what is not ok to sacrifice. About patience. About baking. About HUMILITY. About mother/wifehood.