a simple prayer

Dear Lord,

There is a lot on my plate right now. (As a side note, thank you for the food that literally fills my plates at meal times.) You have been teaching me so much. And Lord, two thumbs up from me on creatively planning those lessons. (Not that you need my approval...)

I'm learning that my wants and my plans are often ridiculous and weak. ((Quote here from C.S. Lewis - Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.))

I'm learning to be a submissive teammate in my marriage.

I'm learning that I have so very much to learn.

And Lord, I am holding on so very tight to a few very special things. I am starting to realize (and worry) that I need to loosen my grip around them. But to be honest, my motivation for wanting to loosen my grip is not that it's the right thing to do. I worry that you will take things away from me that I hold too close. I know you are first. I know you are my number one, first love, Creator, King. And my love for husband, my son, my daughter, my horses and that ministry will never EVER compare. But, Lord, they are so good. They are so lovely and perfect and my heart wells up just to think of them. So, Lord, I trust your plan. But please, please, never take them away.

I'm learning that you can get hurt badly by the things you love the most....literally. Adalia has used her razor like fingernails to dig out my skin daily as of late. And, I got bit by a horse today. Ouch. Seriously.

God, please help me to keep learning. And help me to be quick about it.

Thank you. Amen.

my solitude

The woods along the Prairie River Dam

Dispersed camp site in the Chippewa Forest

Big Jack Lake

“I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”

“Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life so. Aim above morality. Be not simply good, be good for something.”

“Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify.”

“The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.”

“One is not born into the world to do everything but to do something.”

Henry David Thoreau said all these words (and many more which you can find on this page).

Sometimes, when I get really stressed or overwhelmed, I long for the places in the pictures above. Those places are my solitude. They are my very own hidden, special places where I can unwind, recollect, let go, worship, sit, breathe, pray, thank, and just exist with nothing going on around me or within me.

I almost got attacked by two HUGE wolves when I was standing by that tent. After a heart pounding stare-down, I gave them a few minutes to run off...then sprinted the half-mile to my car, jumped in, and locked the doors (just in case wolves could use door handles). I sat there shaking. SHAKING. Then I started crying. And when the tears has been spent, a slow smile crept across my face. I had just encountered a beautiful, natural miracle. So, I got out of my car and walked back to my tent and stayed there through the night (but I won't lie and say that I slept even a wink)!

Anyway, just thinking about this place today. Would love to get back there soon.

whistle while you work

**i won't complain, i won't complain, i won't complain, i won't comlpain, i won't complain, i won't complain**

Today, I am thankful for:

1. Finding five dollars in my wallet.
2. The ability to work.
3. Good music.
4. My mom praying for me.
5. Having been able to pay bills yesterday.
6. My computer.
7. My husband, son, and daughter...(even if they drive me a little crazy)
8. Memories.
9. Cheerios.
10. Riding lessons...I feel like I was made to ride horses, and this has been an amazing gift.

"never be afraid to sit a while and think"

(Title quote by Lorraine Hansberry)


FPFG says it best. These words. And these words. And so many more.

The first one, if you clicked on it, was exactly what has been going through my head. Why do I think I am so dang cool just because I didn't make a facebook post about my New Year? I am in desperate need of committing to a lot of things this year, but my aloof-ness (?) stood in the way. I didn't want to be like everybody else and say that I was going to start working out (which I did). Or eat healthier (which I did). Or try to get in the Word more (which I have). Or be a better friend (which I hope I will be). Or write more letters (which I have been doing). I am the most resolution-y of all! I just let me coolness and pride get in the way of sharing about it.

Next. Her next post, "We Can Be Alright" made me cry. Ok, sob and weep....don't judge. I am overboard with stress and emotions right now. Our car broke down. My student loans got cut...like 60%. We live in an attic. Our house is still on the market and no one is looking at it. A silly health issue that lingered after my pregnancy may get me kicked out of my Air Guard unit. Our ministry is going to struggle (Stable Days) if we can't find funding and hold a session in some sort of location that is safe for the kids and horses. And all of this is made worse by an increasing fear that my weak mind and already full heart will fail and that I won't be strong enough.

I don't have more words right now. I am probably being over dramatic, and 'the sun will come out tomorrow' but for today, I am tired and overwhelmed.

Are you feeling the same way? Is there something big in your life that's going on? I will pray for you. I would be honored to pray for you. Or send you an encouraging letter on the beautiful stationary I got.

Lemme know.

"you can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness"

(Title quote from song I currently cannot stop listening to: "Somebody That I Used To Know" by Walk Off The Earth {cover of a Goyte song})

How long do wise words stick with you? How long do you think on things after they touch your heart?

I heard an amazing message this morning from our pastor, Bob Bartlett (you can download it here). It really touched my heart and I felt God moving the wheels in my head for how I should apply it to my life. And I thought on this for about......ten minutes.

Then, we walked out of the building and my mind went to "gee, it's cold", "i wish the kids were able to take a nap right now", "i have a ton of homework to do tonight", "did Tom start the car or will it be freezing", blah blah BLAH.

Since when are my life and the petty things of the 'day to day' more important that my relationship with the Lord. Rather than chatting with Tom about the groceries, I could have continued mulling over the message by talking to him about it. I could have told him that I wanted to pray together about being a more vision and mission driven family.

And while we are on the topic of my relationship with the Lord, let me just share with you the prayer that I ought to be saying on repeat all. day. long.

Dear Lord,

Lord, you are to be praised. You are worthy, and I am thankful for this moment of prayer.

Please help me seek you and serve you in each moment today. Help me prioritize. Fill me with your love, grace, mercy and patience.

Please sell our house.

Also, open the hearts of people around us to our ministry with Stable Days. We know, Lord, that you have a big heart for children who are hurting and in need, and as we seek to serve these kids, we know that you are providing all we need. Continue to provide donors, volunteers, prayer support and wisdom in all we do with this ministry.

Lord, protect my children and my marriage. I want my children to grow in you each day, and I want my marriage to grow each day on the foundations of your Word and your perfect example of unconditional, eternal love.

Forgive me for my sins.

Amen.

P.S. Help me figure out what in the world went wrong with my student loans and why ALL OF THE SUDDEN they decided that I don't qualify for a grant or loan of any type. I know you have a good plan for me; help me keep that in mind despite my current confusion.

Amen, for real.

Ok. SO that is that. Now you know my head and my heart for today.

Last, but not least. My one and only comment leave-er on the giveaway blog....RACHEL! You are the grand prize winner! Please email me your address and I will send you your cozy blanket and rock-star bracelet! Thanks for participating! (hannah.e.lizabeth@live.com is my email)

the kind of woman i wish to be...

Lately, I haven't been the person I want to be.

I have been petty, easily offended, quick to anger, quicker to complain, lazy, slow to serve, self-centered, and all around awful.

Proverbs 31:10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. 11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. 14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. 15 She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. 16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. 18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. 19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. 20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. 21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. 25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. 26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 31 Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

A Proverbs 31 wife probably doesn't push an issue to prove that she is right. She probably doesn't skip reading her Bible...for like six months. She probably doesn't argue with her husband over silly issues. She probably doesn't spend her money irresponsibly. She probably doesn't complain about her post-baby body. She probably doesn't waste an hour on facebook when she has tasks that need completing.

She probably doesn't....but I totally do.

I can blame it on the fact that I'm tired, or didn't get coffee, or feel sick, or am really stressed, or because its hot outside, or cold outside, or because Adalia is being tough, or because whatever.

The fact of the matter is that the only thing to blame is my enormous lack of character. I need to get on my knees and pray. I need to seek the Lord and ask for strength, wisdom, grace and perseverance. I need to get into the Word. I need to be humble and learn to let things go.

I don't have any solutions or uplifting words, but I felt like sharing.

Hope you are all having an awesome Tuesday!

a giveaway...!!!

Hey everybody!!

So, I am going to do my first giveaway today! I am not pairing up with any cool etsy shops or anything so don't get TOO excited! But what I am going to giveaway is two of the items that we use for fundraising for SDYR. The first item is a fleece blanket with a crocheted edging, and the second item is a recycled t-shirt bracelet (made by our Stable Days volunteers)! I will select one winner who will get the blanket and a bracelet, and another two winners for bracelets.

recycled t-shirt bracelets

(girl not included)

{ultra-soft fleece, with light brown yarn crochet edging}

To get in on this sweet, horsey giveaway simply leave a comment below about what horses mean to you, why you like horses, or a memorable experience you had with a horse!

For an additional entry, go like our facebook page here.

And for a third entry, let me know that you asked some friends to check us out too (i.e. "I told Jimmy, Susy, and Bill to check out your sweet program...")!

The giveaway will close next Sunday, January 22nd! I am doing this to raise awareness of this great program, so send your friends over here to check out what we've got going on!